Toddler Trepidation

There are a lot of things that I am nervous about when I think about having another baby. Whenever I am around other people with babies, they all come flashing out to the forefront. You know, when they have to leave during a church meeting because their toddler is arching their back, screaming at the top of their lungs, while simultaneously hucking toys at the head of the sweet older lady in front of them. During all of this, the poor mother or father is attempting to look benevolent and long-suffering, trying to hide the fact that they would like nothing better than to let the kid fall on his head. Grodie diapers, all-nighters, bring it on. It's the running noses, drooling mouths, slobbery toys, spit-up, complete dependence, and tendency to put everything in their mouths that is hard for me. Why is it then that I am desperately excited to see this little baby who loves to kick my intestines? Why is my every thought consumed with preparing for her and beautifying things for her and dreaming about her being here? Why have I had her little clothes, shoes and hair pretties organized and set out for a month? Why, when this hurts so much, would I happily go through another nine months of puking and the variety of discomforts pregnancy brings just to be able to get her here? Seven weeks, six days seems like an eternity until I get to finally meet her. I just love her so much already!