Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better!

This song is so fun to sing, but the thought behind it irks me to no end. How could a competitive marriage possibly work? In a three-legged race, if the other person is always trying to push the other over so they can win by themselves, it hurts the whole teams' prospect of coming out on top.

Today I wanted to pay tribute to the beautiful partnership that is marriage.

To start out, you need to know that I never thought I would end up with the type of man that I did, which is what attracted me to him in the first place. He was different from all of the other guys I had dated. I expected to snap and have him come running, which, of course, is how marriage is supposed to be, right? (I have no idea where I got this interesting view of marriage. My parents are nothing like this and have a beautiful, respectful partnership.) What initially caught my attention was when I asked him if he would like to come tutor me in math (I was done dating my other math tutors. The funny thing is, I'm actually quite good at math!) and he asked me when I could come over. What? I don't think I was purposefully arrogant, but the thought had never occurred to me that I should go to HIM. Huh. Okay! From that shock on I respected him as a fella who knew his own mind and didn't just live to fulfill whatever was on mine (I'm really quite bossy when I release my inner Nazi). This, my friends, is the foundation upon which our marriage is founded (besides other, more important foundations, you know.)

This characteristic has really helped our marriage. He has an opinion on everything and stands behind it 100% until he is talked out of it or happens upon something better. But the talker better have some solid research behind what they are saying, or had better use his own convictions to support their opinion. He has taught me to be a better thinker, which is good since I have the bad habit of letting my brain be "slack and torpid" as Harry Potter would say . (Is that evidence against me that I quote Harry Potter?) We approach every major, okay and minor, decision as we would a debate and we both really relish the mental acrobatics required to make our point of view seem the most reasonable.

One thing I really love about my husband though is that he completely supports me staying home with our kids. He wouldn't have it any other way, and really values his own ability to provide for us. It is fabulous to see the satisfaction he receives from slaying dragons daily for the little woman and wee bairns (especially now that he has a job he loves!). I also love that he doesn't base my worth on how much moolah I contribute to the fam, but he realizes instead that I contribute in different ways. I love that in our marriage we don't have to try to be equal. One of his favorite quotes is from "Thoroughly Modern Millie" when she says, "I don't want to be your equal; I just want to be a woman!" We are so different that it only makes sense that we would contribute different things to the success of our family. He also supports all my new ideas about discipline, responsibility and child-rearing. *sigh* I love being married, especially to my sweet spousal unit.