Long Time, No See

Hey, Bro.

Your wife has a good thing going, writing to you all the time.  There are some things I want to talk to you about, so I figured I would try it out.

It's really early in the morning, but I just woke up and remembered a dream I had just had about you.  Now, I can't go back to sleep.  In the dream, you were about 10 or so, and I must have been about 12 since I wasn't much taller than you.  I was walking in a crowd of people, when I looked back and saw you walking a little ways behind me.  Your blond hair was sticking out all over and you had a favorite old yellow T-shirt on.  You hadn't seen me yet, so, grinning, I sang out "Mi-chael!"  You looked around and almost saw me, but people got in the way. "Mi-chael!" --this game was getting funny now as you smiled and tried to find me ahead of you.  "Michael Dichael!"  I called out your childhood nickname from Mom and you finally saw me and ran over to me.  I had pulled out of the crowd, over by Mom and Dad, and when you got to me, I just hugged and hugged you.  I couldn't explain why I wanted to just keep hugging you, and I could tell that Mom felt the same way.  I knew in my head that it should be a little silly for me to hug you so fiercely and for so long, but I didn't care.  I just stood there hugging and hugging you like you'd been gone a million years.

Oh, Bro.  I miss you so terribly.  I went to a work party last weekend and played Rock Band for a little while.  "Just Like Heaven" was one of the few songs that I knew in that version and I could hear you singing it in my head during the whole song.  It's been stuck in my head now for a week and I sing it when I ride my bike home from Mom and Dad's house every day.  There are so many songs that I didn't realize I had attached to you.  The other day I found myself thinking, "Man, Michael would love this song if it wasn't country!"  (o:

I think about you all the time.  I've been down there in those waters with you more times than I can count.  I talk to your picture on the way up the stairs.  I talk to your picture on my computer desktop while I'm working.  I use you in my Young Women lessons because you are on my mind.  I just miss you.  I miss you so, so terribly!

The week before you left, I was at Young Womens' camp and heard a teenage girl talking about her twin brother.  She said that it was so annoying having him at dances.  I stopped her and said, "What?!  You have a built-in dance partner whenever you need one!  My brother and I started out all the dances when I used to go!"  Man, that was fun, wasn't it?  Then, the next week, you were gone.

It's funny how, when you were here, it wasn't a big deal if I didn't talk to you very long.  I knew you would always call back.  You probably got so frustrated with me about that.  Now, there are so many things I want to talk to you about that you used to have to drag out of me.  I want to tell you about our kitchen floor and how it got flooded and ruined from the dishwasher.  I want to talk to you about flooring options and if you put tile or linoleum in your bathroom when you redid it.  I want to talk to you about bike trailers and if you have any ideas about the best ones for the best price.  Now, the best price thing probably wouldn't have been as significant and I probably would have rolled my eyes at how much you would spend on one and inwardly think you threw your money away like crazy, even though it was completely none of my business.  I want to hear from you about what your kids are doing.  I know I would have gotten a call when your baby rolled over.  You would have called me to tell me your big girl's antics and how she makes the best big sister.  That sweet girl was your sun.  I've never seen such an adoring father.  Every time she did any new skill, you were on the phone. glowing about it.  You sure just sucked her in and enjoyed every second.

Well, Bro, that's what has been in my mind.  It was fun to see your grinning, childhood face, and to hug the cookies out of you.  I sure needed that.  I love you, Bro.