Slick Clippin'

They should write large warnings all over the boxes of hair buzzers: THIS DEVICE CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS IN THE HANDS OF INCAPABLE PEOPLE. IMPROPER USE OF DEVICE MAY RESULT IN MANGE-LIKE APPEARANCE AND/OR PATCHY BALDNESS. (Esta cosa puede matar sus ninos, y pueden aparecer muy extranos como un perro infermo.)

Back-to-school haircuts are always especially painful for our family...okay, for me because I'm the only one who really cares. The thing with back-to-school haircuts is that there isn't very much time between the haircut and school pictures, where your hack job can be immortalized. At one point in time during this particular buzzing experience, my son ended up with horizontal stripes across his young cranium, which was already sporting dangerously short locks. After a few more rounds, and some creative clipper-accessory experimentation, the lines became significantly less noticeable as his scalp became more visible. By this point, my six-year old has completely lost patience, since it has taken me an hour to slowly scalp him, and I just let him go jump in the tub.

Of course, once he's in the tub, I notice that one side of his head has a shelf-like protrusion over the bald patches on the bottom. I can't buzz him in the tub, because evidently the clippers are capable of doing more damage to my child than I have already inflicted. I also don't want to take him out of the long-awaited bath just to buzz him for another hour and stick him back in the tub.

So, a week later, I'm ready to de-shelf him because I forgot before his last bath. Now, the shelf is shorter than the other side, but I think I've put him through enough trauma for this time. In three or four weeks, you won't even be able to tell.